i've got a fever

I'm loving that HEALTH is our focus for February and March. In my last post, I broke down how I'd been feeling for a few months in relation to authenticity and negative experiences that had come back to haunt me. Let's be real, it was pretty raw and very humbling to open up in that way. BUT it was very cathartic to get those feelings out, even it is just Brooke and I following this blog. I'd never been so honest with myself about my own self-confidence, levels of hope and optimism, lack of vision and perspective, and a few troubling experiences. I'd been plagued with the "fake it til you make it" attitude, which was getting in the way of true healing.

At the beginning of 2015, I put on my brave face and told my husband and parents everything, and I mean everything, I was feeling and where those feelings were rooted. It was terrifying, liberating, excruciating, and incredible all at the same time to share those deep, dark, less-than-pleasant feelings and experiences. Tears were shed, I used words I'd never thought I'd have to use to describe things that had happened, I was left exhausted in every way possible. But once I no longer felt I had to pretend everything was okay, I felt free--able to be myself and all of the good and bad that comes in that nice little package. I don't know that I've ever felt as honest and authentic as I felt that day, and to my surprise no one was unsettled by what I shared. It's been a long, challenging, tiresome path I've decided to take but I know in the end I will be more than pleased I chose this path. I have a daunting amount of healing to do, and I definitely have those days where it's too much to take, but I can already tell I'm headed in the right direction.

Okay, so back to this health thing, I've decided to focus on my mental and emotional health for these two months. I think mental health and/or mental illness is so hush-hush in our society, almost too much. No one wants to admit that these illnesses are common and treatable and should be approached like any other illness. I've been amazed at the number of people who, after I've opened up, have shared their struggles with mental and/or emotional health. I've gained my own strength from hearing their stories and learning about the steps they took towards recovery. It's so much more common than I ever realized!

For privacy reasons and out of self-respect, I will not be sharing personal details about my mental/emotional health journey on the world wide web. Perhaps when all is said and done, I will feel more confident and capable of doing such, but for now that is not the case. If you're sticking around in hopes of getting some juicy gossip, you won't find any here. I do, however, plan to document steps I've taken and resources I've used in my recovery process in hopes that someone else can gain insight and strength. Below is a list of websites you can browse if you're interested in learning more about mental health and mental health resources.

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
http://www.mentalhealth.gov/index.html

National Institute of Mental Health
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
http://www.samhsa.gov/

Read More

so basically spirituality has taken a back seat

I'm one of those people Brooke mentioned that lumps spirituality with religion. I was born and raised LDS (learn about the LDS faith here) and, for the most part, have enjoyed my experience with the LDS church and its people. It has taught me skills and helped me cultivate values that have largely guided me in a direction I want my life to go. Honestly, everything good I have in life I can attribute to my being raised LDS. I think most people struggle with their values and beliefs at some point, and I've had a few small bouts of that, but I would consider myself to have a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and everything that comes with it.

The months of focusing on authenticity opened the floodgates of many memories of negative experiences and all the feelings that come with them. I consider myself a strong individual who has handled many difficult situations with grace, putting my faith and trust in my Heavenly Father to make sure everything was happening for my good. I've taken advantage of Jesus Christ's Atonement to seek forgiveness of my wrong doings as well as to overcome weaknesses and feelings of doubt, insecurity, confusion, and lack of self-worth. However, I've spent the last three years avoiding something that has affected me much deeper and more strongly than I ever realized. That specific situation, combined with my personal and family history, has torn my feelings of self-worth and self-confidence to shreds. I was once a confident, outgoing introvert with a love for serving and teaching others. I loved to make those I love happy. I took many challenges head on and possessed a strength I cannot describe. Things that were difficult for me I either learned to accept or dealt with them until they were no longer difficult. I easily moved on from things that did not work out, knowing that something better was in my future. I did not doubt where my self-worth came from, whose daughter I truly was, and that everything in my life was "for a reason". I had a bright spark and love for life.

Fast forward to today. While I still love serving and teaching others, I no longer feel confident in my abilities to do so. I try my hardest to make others happy, but it's difficult to do when I'm not happy myself. I shy away from new challenges because I feel like I have enough on my plate. I let myself get consumed and overwhelmed with the simplest of tasks. I no longer possess the self-esteem of a woman who does not care what others think of her; instead, I constantly strive to meet others' standards of happiness and perfection, regardless of the cost. I feel weak and incapable. I'm missing my Katrina spark. I doubt myself and my abilities every single day, I question my self-worth, I no longer know that better things are ahead, and I don't understand why my life has taken certain paths. I'm no longer the woman I was, and it kills me to admit that.

Last week, my husband asked me when I've felt happiest and most like myself and I'm so glad he did! Every summer from high school graduation to my wedding was spent teaching teenagers about the gospel of Jesus Christ and the LDS church. Every day was spent in authentic and honest prayer, feasting on the scriptures, fasting for ourselves and others, participating in uplifting activities, and teaching lessons focused on Jesus Christ and His mission. The entire time I was surrounded by loving, accepting, enthusiastic friends who all had the same goal--to teach others the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. My entire focus was on Christ and how to make it back to Him.

I'm still filtering through the last three years to pinpoint exactly when, where, and why the changes in my demeanor took place. I have a feeling it's going to be quite the process. I'm enlisting outside help and trying my darnedest to open up so I can receive the help I so desperately need. I'm terrified of what the next few months have in store, but I'm also ecstatic to figure myself and my issues out. I'm thrilled to move on. I'm exhilarated to feel like me again, to get my Katrina spark back. Posts may be lacking, but know that blossoming is not.

Read More

wrapping up authenticity, just in time for the holidays!

Embracing imperfections is hard. I don't think it's meant to be easy. We live in a world where society's definition of perfection is unattainable, yet we are expected to strive to reach it.  We are told to have the perfect body (not too fat and not too skinny) but to also be happy with the body we have, to juggle multiple responsibilities (not limited to a career, a family, a relationship, or our personal hobbies) with ease and grace, to never let anyone see our weaknesses, to be continuously happy and cheerful regardless of whatever may be happening behind the scenes, to have the perfectly decorated and clean home, to have a deliciously prepared meal three times a day, to have well-rounded children who are perfect in every way, etc. etc. Seriously, the list could go on and on.

Basically, we are told to believe we are never enough--we will never reach "perfection".

That's why I tackled the task of embracing my imperfections and cultivating the courage to show them. I, like everyone, am subject to society's expectations. I am constantly told that I'm not __________ enough (fill in the blank with the word of your choice). It's demoralizing to be bombarded with this message every day.

As I reflect on my authenticity journey the last two months, I'm pretty happy with the progress I made. I learned to start saying "I'm enough" when society tells me otherwise. I engaged in some difficult conversations regarding my imperfections and how I may need more support than I can give myself. I learned to look outward for strength when I need it most. I've started to be happy with little amounts of consistent progress and to stop expecting huge bounds toward perfection.

As with all of the topics Brooke and I will be tackling this year, authenticity is a journey--it's not something that happens overnight. That's why we chose the imagery of blossoming--it's a beautiful process. I will definitely keep thinking about authenticity and how to cultivate a more accepting view of myself and others, but for now I need to focus a little more on spirituality. Goals will be coming soon!

Read More

authenticity: untitled

Does anyone else ever feel like life has a funny little way of handing you challenges at the exact moment you're thinking that you can't take anymore? Or that your current challenge seems to target whatever you're working to improve?

Story of my life. And probably yours too.

Let's be real here, we all have challenges and I believe they are specifically catered to what we need---in my experience, strengthening my weaknesses or imperfections or learning to embrace them as such. The last two months as I've been working on authenticity have been no different. I've shared a few experiences that have helped me practice authenticity or accept others authenticity, and I've dealt with even more that I've chosen to keep private. Whether these challenges have lasted a day, a week, or are still ongoing one thing has remained the same: I've always received exactly what I need.

In the past I would end there with my "someone's always got your back" speech and say that if you're doing everything in your power and being the best person you can be, it will all be okay. And I still stand by that message. But as I've been specifically thinking about authenticity and how I need to let others see me struggle and help me out, I've been trying to ask for what I need rather than "just dealing with it". For example, last night on our walk Wes brought up a topic that is really hard for me to discuss. After a few moments of putting on a brave face and sharing my thoughts, I'd had enough. In the past, I would just shut down then and there until Wes got the message. Instead, I told Wes I'd had enough of the subject and needed to change topics. He politely obliged and we were quickly discussing something much easier for me to handle.

My mother is famous for saying, "It never hurts to ask!" Like, really. I'm sure my dad has heard it more times than days they've been married. But it's so true! You will never know some answers until you ask, and you may never get some things you need if you don't ask. For example, sometimes my principal is terrifying (she doesn't mean to be, she's just assertive and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that), so you can imagine how a meek introvert like me has a difficult time asking for favors or other things I need that aren't the norm. But I've found that if I just ask her for what is needed, she almost always agrees and goes above and beyond to help. Case in point: I need to leave work early today to make it to a wedding dinner on time. It's not totally kosher for a faculty member to leave work before students, but I figured I would ask. You wanna know her response? "Oh sure! You can even leave earlier than that if you need to!" See? All I needed to do was ask.

Moral of the story is that sometimes the best way to be our authentic selves is to ask--ask for help, ask a question if we don't understand, ask for more time or space, etc. It's okay to be unsure of things or what to do. It's not okay to become stagnant because we aren't willing to ask.

Read More

learning moments in patience

So I'm not into divulging personal details here, especially when it comes to the ones I love and hold most dear. Sorry if this post is vague, but I'd rather keep my relationships private. Hope you understand.

The past month has been a difficult one for my husband and me. Between the grad school applications and fees, family expectations, student vs. non-student workload, and general stress I have not been the most patient person on the planet. Who am I kidding, I'm never the most patient person on the planet! Regardless, I have not been as patient with myself or the husband as I should. It's taking a toll on me.

Sunday night afforded me the wonderful opportunity of exercising patience with Wes and myself. Like I said, no personal details, but know that Sunday night I began to understand the beauty of patience with one's spouse when they are feeling particularly vulnerable. Typically I jump to conclusions or try to create an immediate solution. I'm not sure if I do those things to avoid dealing with Wes's vulnerability or if I truly think I'm helping, but I rarely allow myself to deal with his vulnerability. That night, however, I took the opportunity to listen to everything Wes had to say without jumping in or creating "fixes" in my mind. I just sat and listened.  When Wes was done, I simply offered an apology of sympathy along with a hug and assured him that everything would be okay. You know what? It worked! My patience, reassurance, and faith in Wes was what he needed, simple as that.

I'm so grateful for the opportunities I've had to exercise patience with others and myself this past month. I've learned so many things about authenticity, both for myself and others. My eyes have been opened to what's really important and how much growing I have left to do. I'm excited to see what November has to bring!

Read More

on patience

I'm not sure how to start this post, or even really what to write. I have so many thoughts swirling in my head regarding authenticity. We'll see how this goes.

A coworker and personal friend of mine attended a conference this week on cultural competence...aka accepting and celebrating differences. This coworker is very different from many of my other coworkers in lifestyle, religion, diet/exercise habits, priorities, relationship status, etc. Needless to say, the conference was not her favorite event; she told me she was made to feel "very shallow" and that she felt extremely disrespected by our other coworkers who were in attendance. She has participated in a similar activity before and loved it; this time--not so much.

Her experience got me thinking about how accepting I am of others' differences or their authenticity. Who am I to judge? Along with my voracious appetite for perfection from myself, I expect just as much perfection from others. (Ask my husband.) I tend to think that my way is almost always the best way and any other is ridiculous. I have a hard time letting others figure things out for themselves when I've "been there, done that" and can spare them from pain and loss. I get frustrated when friends and family members don't listen to my advice and choose contrary to what I recommend. Basically I'm a big ball of "I know what's up and you should listen".

So I've decided I need to work on accepting others' faults and flaws just as much as I'm working on accepting my own. It all comes down to being patient--something that is a major struggle and goes hand in hand with perfection. Accepting imperfection requires patience. Patience requires accepting imperfection. Simple as that. I'll keep ya posted!

Read More

on perfectionism

Perfectionism is a nasty word and a nasty thing. It's probably my biggest downfall--ironic. Anytime I doubt myself, am snarky/rude/curt, feel blue, or feel anything negative really I can almost always relate it back to perfectionism. Perfectionism is the demon that tries to run my life, and usually ends up ruining it if it gets out of hand.

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown spends an entire chapter on perfectionism and self-compassion. (I am telling you, I loved this book!!) Below is how Brown explains perfectionism (pp. 56-57)

::Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best.
::Perfectionism is not self-improvement.
::Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system.

Brown also states that "...when you're a perfectionist, your self-worth is on the line." (p. 57) I told you perfectionism was nasty.

If I take an honest look at myself, I find that perfectionism hits me in two major areas: body image and home-making. I'm constantly comparing my body/hair/skin/teeth/whatever to other women, real or not. I can tell myself all I want that the women in magazines, movies, tv, etc. are photo-shopped and I truly believe they are, but when it comes down it I still compare. I also constantly compare my cooking/baking/cleaning/organization/decorating/child-bearing skills to other women. I get down on myself that I have hardly any art on the walls, my bed isn't made every day, I cook maybe twice a week, and I don't have kids. I have to be extremely wary and delineate between self-improvement and perfectionism when it comes to body image and home-making.

So what can we do to ward off perfectionism? Brown gives two suggestions (p. 57): speak about/acknowledge imperfections in tender and honest ways, and be slow to judge yourself and others...aka practice self-compassion. She even links Dr. Kristin Neff's word on self-compassion, complete with a self-compassion scale to rate how you're doing (www.self-compassion.org).

If you're like me and identify with feelings of perfectionism, fill in the rating scale! It's a great first step on your perfectionism recovery journey! I discovered that I'm doing quite well with common humanity and mindfulness, but my self-kindness and self-judgment could definitely use some work.

Anything you guys use or do to help you overcome feelings of perfectionism?

Read More

Thank you, Brene Brown!

Guys, I finished a book. That never happens!

Remember in this post when I quoted Brene Brown on her definition of authenticity? That definition really hit home! I used Brown's definition, along with recent experiences, to draft my authenticity goals. They're pretty broad and may only mean something to me, but since this project is about self-improvement and blossoming how/when I choose I guess that's what matters.

1. I will embrace my imperfections.
-I will stop it with the comparisons.
-I will believe that I am enough.

2. I will cultivate the courage to show my imperfections.
-I will let go of perfectionism.
-I will cultivate self-compassion.
-I will focus on gratitude.

As I've been thinking about these goals, finishing up The Gifts of Imperfection, and taking a life inventory I've started to realize how personal authenticity is and how much courage it takes to be authentic. It's much easier to hide behind a facade or pretend, if even for a little bit. But eventually the act is going to catch up with you. Maybe I'm not as authentic and courageous as I thought?

Read More

authenticity at it's finest

Remember how last time I wrote about not letting anyone see me cry? Not even my husband?

Well, things may have changed in that department the next evening.

After a long and stressful day at work (three extra meetings in one day...kill me!), I received a phone call from a friend in my neighborhood.

"Kat, I just heard about Betty Lou*...I'm so sorry! Do you need anything?"

"What about Betty Lou?"

"Um...she passed away this morning."

Who is Betty Lou?  Our landlady. That's right, our landlady passed away right under our noses (literally and figuratively). Clearly, I can't blame Betty Lou and I am in no way upset at her; she was perhaps the sweetest little thing I will ever meet and was far more generous than we ever expected. However, it was shocking and untimely news. Panic immediately set in and as soon as I was off the phone (and in the driveway), the tears came a-flowin'! I was perhaps more unraveled than I ever have been. Can you blame me? I assumed we would have to move right away. We don't have any real back up options, even for a short time. And because my husband is applying to physical therapy school for next year, we are hesitant to sign a lease with anyone else until we know when we are heading out.

Basically, I was in full panic mode--not a pretty sight.

Luckily, my husband knew about Betty Lou passing before I knew so he was prepared for the unraveling. As soon as I walked in the door he swooped me up in a giant bear hug and preceded to lay on the floor with me as I sobbed. He took me out for frozen yogurt and made me go on a walk to work out my thoughts.

As I laid in bed that night, I thought about authenticity and how just the day before I admitted I never let my husband see me cry. What a perfect opportunity to let my imperfections/non-superwoman show, right? While this isn't a situation I'd wish on anyone or something I'd like to have happen again, it was relieving to let my husband help me work through something difficult for both of us. The support he provided and love he showed reaffirmed that I am not in this alone. None of us are.

I think that's something else I need to focus on during these months of authenticity--asking for help when I need it. Due to my need to be superwoman to take care of everyone and everything, it's very difficult for me to ask for help. I would rather have a nervous breakdown before it gets to that point. But I don't think that's healthy, and I don't think that's being true to who I am. I'm human, and being human comes with weaknesses. As much as I don't like to admit it or let my weaknesses show, they're there. Part of being authentic is letting those imperfections show and owning them, every single one.

So there you have it. I let one of my imperfections show, even if only for a brief moment. It was kind of nice!

Ending to the story: Our landlady's children are letting us stay until the house sells, which will probably not be until spring. Talk about a relief!

*names have been changed to protect identity

Read More

authentically speaking, i can't wait to do this!!

I'm pretty much an open book. I have no problem telling most people my problems and seeking advice. Perhaps I'm a little too open with personal things? I'm sure my husband thinks so. Basically, I'm the exact opposite of Brooke (here we go again with opposites). Out of all of the things Brooke and I will be focusing on this year, authenticity is the one area I feel confident in. She's pretty much the most well-rounded and down-to-earth person I know, so to feel like I'm ahead in the game for once boosts my confidence with this blossoming intentionally thing.

I used to think I also had high walls built up around me, that no one was ever going to get to know "the real me". I was sure I was the black sheep of the family (being a middle child and all), and the way I bounced from social group to social groups reaffirmed that I was never going to fit in anywhere. Then college happened and my walls crumbled. I found confidence and self-esteem in areas of my life I wasn't even sure existed. I finally felt safe with a solid groups of friends, and  relationships within my family blossomed. Everything I had kept bottled up started pouring out--fears, struggles, likes/dislikes, dreams, anxieties, everything! What a wonderful thing to finally feel like I had discovered my true self! Since graduating college four years ago, my confidence and openness has waxed and waned but I generally feel that I've been able to stay true to myself, letting my light shine.

So here's the where the difficulty comes in: I don't know what to focus on for authenticity! I know I have improvements to make, we can always improve, but I'm not quite sure where I should start. Currently, I'm reading a book by Brene Brown--The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are--and I'm loving the concept of embracing imperfection. I feel like a pretty authentic person, but I struggle with perfectionism. I speak my mind all I want, am pretty set in what I think is right and wrong, have a clear sense of direction, and feel extremely settled with the life I've built for myself. However, it's very difficult for me to let anyone see any sort of struggle. I can talk about it all I want, but when it comes to seeing the struggle in action...what a different story. It's rare that anyone (even my husband) sees me cry, and it's almost as rare that  anyone sees me rattled (in fact, I've been told by many coworkers that I'm the most level-headed at the school...say what?). I've been born and bred with the "fake it til you make it" motto. I've recently succumbed to the "you're not good enough" message that plagues our society in everything from body image to religious affirmation.

In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brown states that part of choosing authenticity is "cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable" (p. 50). I think that's where I need to start--cultivating courage to be imperfect. I need to be more patient with myself. I need to realize that I'm no longer a size 4 and probably never will be, that I can only handle so much responsibility at work until I break, that I can follow through on only so many promises until I starting failing people, that I can't take care of others until I take care of myself. Basically, I'm not superwoman (even though I'd like to be).

While my goals aren't set in stone (I'll let you know when they are), I'm nearly positive "courageously embracing imperfection" is going to be my guidepost. If you have any ideas on how I can cultivate that kind of courage, please share! I'll need some support!

Read More

simply wrapping up

A short review of my simplicity goals I (attempted to) tackle during August and September:

Simplify my living space: Despite my efforts to print off checklists (I love checklists), break tasks down into smaller steps, and commit to just 20 minutes a day, I did not make much progress with my intended simplifying. I never made a charity run, nor did I follow the "one in, one out" rule (I love my clothes way too much). I did, however, get in the habit of doing a quick and dirty clean up every night before bed. My husband even suggested the clean up three nights a week...wahoo! Over the course of the past two months, I came to realize that I wasn't looking for a simpler living space as far as decluttering and getting rid of things, I was searching for a simpler way to maintain. Decluttering didn't become a priority, keeping my organization simple did. I'd write this one off as a success!

Simplify my work space: Done, done, and done! I honestly cannot focus on my work if my office is not tidy, tidy, tidy. Luckily, the state gave us a few extra prep days before the students came back to school so I had more than enough time to get my room just right. And my calendar and To Do list are essential to my success at work, so those were simple to create and maintain. Easy peasy!

Simplify my lifestyle: I have a busy schedule. I know it, I live it, and I love it. My intention was to commit only to those events and tasks that I truly wanted to do. As is typical with adulthood, sometimes I had to buck up and deal with whatever came my way (ahem...parent-teacher conferences). But more often than not, I was able to put on my brave face and decline invitations or requests if I did not feel I had the energy, brain power, or gusto to fully commit. I feel more in control of my schedule and life, and I love feeling that way. I've learned it's okay to say "no", and that most people will understand. I continued with my nightly runs (usually with zit cream on my face) and used that as my meditation time. I'd write this goal off as a success, too.

I know I promised book reviews and all that jazz, but let's be honest--I didn't finish one of them! (Tells you how much I truly cared about decluttering and simplifying my living space...) Below is a list of books I started, but never finished:

::The Joy of Less by Francine Jay
::The Simple Living Handbook: Discover the Joy of a Decluttered Life by Lorilee Lippincott
::Organizing for Life: Declutter Your Mind to Declutter Your World by Sandra Felton

Like I've said, I had great intentions but very poor follow through.

Next post will be about...drum roll please...authenticity!! (So maybe not finishing those books was really a good way to transition to authenticity??) Still working on reigning in my goals, but they're gonna be great!

Read More

almost done with simplicity!

Simplifying is much harder than I ever expected it to be. You'd think it'd be, well, simple. But in my case, that's not the word I would pick to describe these last two months.


I'd like to blame my packed schedule and constantly-cluttered home on working two jobs, trying to support the husband through his final semester of undergrad work while applying to grad school, family changes, and church responsibilities. BUT the fact of the matter is that I think my life will always be this way--packed to the brim. As crazy at it makes me sometimes, I enjoy feeling busy, needed, useful, and like I am growing outside of my comfort zone.


I've still been focusing on only committing to what I actually want to do, but as an adult (or someone who's trying to be one) sometimes you have to buck up and do things you don't necessarily want. Some weeks I would love to stay home from work to catch up on other things, but then the bills wouldn't get paid and we'd be SOL. Other times I would love to ignore my church responsibilities and pretend like I don't know anyone, but that's just not very mature of me.


I've come to realize through this process that having an absolutely simplified lifestyle (specifically speaking of cluttered vs. uncluttered) doesn't matter as much to me as I thought. Living simply is such a new trend that I think I was trying to fit in rather than do what suits me. Don't get me wrong, I still love a clean and organized home, but I simply don't care enough to take the time to declutter, pare things down, and follow through with getting rid of what I've pared down. I'd rather spend my spare hour with my husband watching Castle, eating dinner, and catching up on our days.


So I guess that leads me to our next topic of focus: authenticity. Brooke is a little timid (okay, maybe more than a little timid) to tackle authenticity, but I can't be more excited. I'm still working on my goals, so I'll share those next week, but know that I can't wait to figure out how to be more true to myself. It'll be an adventure!

Read More

decluttering tips and tricks

Disclaimer: I am, by no means whatsoever, a decluttering/simplicity/whatever expert. These tips and tricks I will be sharing are strictly things I have tried and found helpful for me. Feel free to try them out yourself and please let me know what you think by commenting below!

I love it when major projects are broken down into smaller, simpler steps. I'm definitely the type that gets overwhelmed by the big picture. I've been researching this decluttering concept for a while now, so I feel that I have a nice, comfy stash of resources to help me achieve some sort of progress. Most of the links below I originally found through Pinterest (link to my Blossoming Intentionally board here), but I've linked the sites the pins lead to so you don't have to click a bajillion times. You're welcome.

First, I love this 30-day breakdown of decluttering from PopSugar. It gives me smaller areas to focus on for one day rather than trying to figure it out myself. Plus, there are some areas on the list that don't apply to me (thank you, rental apartment) so I can either have a day off or spend more time on an area that is larger than most (no thank you, giant-closet-that-I-love-to-fill-with-expensive-things).

Next, when I'm having a hard time deciding what I should do with an item (think superhero t-shirts, unused smelly lotion that I can't even smell, gifts that I have absolutely no use for), I mentally go through this checklist on Auto Straddle (and further from lifeyourway.net) to give me direction. I even printed one off so I can have it handy! It's a great way for me to breakdown why I am wanting to save something, and if that reason is legit.

Third, I read up on quite a few simplicity and/or minimalist blogs to give me motivation to keep getting rid of things. Some of my favorites are...
:: The Art of Simple
:: Becoming Minimalist
:: The Minimalists
:: The Everyday Minimalist
:: Miss Minimalist (she even has a book!!)
Seriously, you can't wrong with any of these sites. They give great ideas on how to get the simplifying process started, what minimalism means (which, of course, varies from person to person anyway), why they lead minimalist lives, and easy steps to take each day rather than trying to change your entire world in a day.

Finally, I hunker down and do the work. Brooke posted before about us setting the reminder on our phones and spending our decluttering time "together". While this doesn't happen every day, it happens often enough that it's part of my natural routine to start decluttering something at 8:30 p.m. Seriously, having someone on your team, even if they're a bajillion miles away, can make all the difference.

Well, my friends, I hope you find these resources helpful and useful! Let us know how your simplifying journey is going!

Read More

simple progress

September has officially begun and I’m finally feeling like I’ve made some progress with my simplicity goals!!

Simplifying my living space: I wrote a week or so ago that I would focus more on this in September, which is still the plan. BUT yesterday I cleaned out, decluttered, simplified, and organized my dresser (yes, I get the whole dresser to myself…lucky me!)!! There were t-shirts in there I’d forgotten all about that I absolutely love! There were also plenty of my husband’s running shirts (oops), a pair of my dad’s pajamas bottoms (long story, also a size XL in men’s which means they didn't even fit), one of my mom’s t-shirts (again, long story), and more unmentionables. I enjoyed taking inventory of all the workout clothes, pajamas, undies, socks, etc. I got rid of plenty and still have more than enough to be comfortable.

Simplifying my work space: I really hit this one hard before school started up, so I haven’t had much to do this past week. I cleaned out another drawer that was full of old programs/units another SLP in the building used to use. Those things were so far off the mark from how I do my therapy that most of it ended up in the trash. I think I have my caseload figured out, and I’m all prepared to start seeing groups tomorrow. Overall, I’m feeling organized, simplified, and ready to take on a new year!

Simplifying my lifestyle: Oh bother, this is the one I continue to struggle with, at times. I’m such a people-pleaser that when I feel like I let one person down, the rest of my day (and even week) is ruined. But I’ve been sticking to my guns and saying ‘no’ if I feel the need to. My personal To Do list continues to grow (e.g. just for today, I need to buy some school supplies, clean the house, do the laundry, take the car in to get registered since it was due last month, stop by my second job at the hospital for some training, and grocery shopping…all before a family barbecue at 5:30) but it’s also manageable. I’ve really had to pull the husband in for some back-up since I am the one working weekends now (we’ve switched roles in that respect, and I don’t think he realized how much I did while he was working weekends). He’s been a good support and much more assertive about things than I expected, which is a huge help! I’ve continued my nightly runs, making them longer if I am especially stressed or overwhelmed. I cannot begin to explain how good these make me feel! An hour or so of just being outside with nothing to listen to but my own thoughts has done wonders for me! If I am struggling with a particular problem, this hour is all it takes for me to assess the problem, work out a solution, and feel like a weight has been lifted. Basically, if you don’t have some sort of time for you to just think, make time for it…I promise you wonderful things will come from it!

Now I’m really going to tackle my living space! If I’m being honest, I don’t think I will get it totally done this month, but Imma try! I’ve been researching this concept for some time now, and read quite a few books. In the next few posts I’ll share my tools (aka checklists) for how I’m going about simplifying my living space, as well as some book reviews. Stay tuned!

Read More

so maybe i have anxiety

Pretty sure I should be diagnosed with anxiety. Or something. How does this relate to simplifying, you might ask? Well, let me enlighten you.

I've written before that I am an organization freak. I can't sleep at night if I know that there is something left out on the counter, the dishes aren't put away, or the sheets aren't perfectly straight and wrinkle-free. It's been a problem at times--my husband gets frustrated if I ask him to put something away that he isn't finished with or when I ask if we can fix the sheets for the fourth time that night. I don't blame him! The same can be said about less-tangible things. I lost hours of sleep a night for nearly 2 months last February because I felt that I had too much on my plate. If I don't know where things are at with our budget for the month I go bonkers until I review every receipt and calculate the income vs. expenses five or six times. Guys, it's ridiculous.

That was part of my hope for these few months targeting simplicity. I'd hoped to find ways to cope better when things aren't *perfect* (Remember how I hate that word? Now you know why...) and to simplify my life in general so I wouldn't have much to stress over. So far, I haven't had much luck. Just ask Brooke. I think she gets texts at least every other day discussing how stressed I am and how I just don't know how to deal. I realize that some things I have to deal with and can't simplify, like my husband's grad school applications/fees/traveling for interviews/whatever. Some of these things are a necessary part of life, and will bring good things with them! It's just in the moment, I can't see the long-term benefits, I can only see the short-term stress.

Long story short, if you have any ways that you deal with stress, help a sister out! It's something I've not been coping with for long enough, and it's time to figure out a way to lessen it. My current coping style is to either avoid (by taking naps), eat lots of junk (which just adds to other stresses I have), or simply stress to the point that I can't function. It's absolutely debilitating. Any and every recommendation will be welcome!

Read More

first day of school: simplified

Guys.

I survived my first day of school.That's one for the record books. Sort of.

The day started out with a meeting. What's new, right? 7:45 a.m. Waaaay before school even starts. BUT it was productive! And I kept it simple! Granted, I added plenty to my work "to do" list, and another meeting at noon added even more, but I stream-lined it all into one master list. And I accomplished so much more! It's amazing what writing down small, simple steps can do. Sure, my list may *look* longer, but I feel it's more manageable and I feel much less stressed than in "to do" lists past.

That's pretty much my entire update. I'm sticking to my guns for not over-committing, and it continues to make a world of difference. I've saved an hour or two each day to relax and unwind from the day's events. I find that the less I schedule, the more I can cross off my lists, and the better I feel about the progress I make, no matter how small. I also get to spend more time with the husband, which helps us figure out how to do this marriage thing. So here's to a short update. Now let me eat my string cheese and veg!!

Read More

a simple epiphany of sorts

In my last post, I talked about some frustrations I was having regarding simplifying and my serious lack of progress. While I still have a ways to go, I'm beginning to realize I've made more progress than I originally thought.

Only one stack of "I-no-longer-want-or-use-this" items has physically left my house (it ended up in my trunk...), but moving that pile out felt so good! I can't believe how much more open my little corner kitchen feels simply because I emptied a space next to the table. I actually want to eat there! Now if I could just get that donation pile out the door too.

My office remains decorated and organized, but not very simplified yet. I bought a bin to store my student data tracking folders (among other things, such as incentives or end-of-session questions) right next to my table so I don't have to cross the room to my filing cabinet. I also got a kidney table!! This will simplify my work style in that I will no longer have to ask students to move around the table so I can work with them...they'll be within arm's reach! I think I will be more efficient and effective with this one little change. It's the simple things, I tell you. I also picked up a teacher planner from the main office and am already filling it up with appointments and such. The excitement of the first day of school is building!

I'm continuing to work on my lifestyle simplification. I still haven't meditated. At all. I get frustrated when I realize this, but then I think that maybe I don't need to set aside specific meditation time. I tend to take nearly an hour to fall asleep, so I get a lot of relaxing/feeling/processing time at the end of my day and that seems to be enough. I've also continued to run every evening, which does a lot for my stress levels. I am loving my personal planner--it's cute and I'm staying on top of my commitments. I've given in to some activities I don't necessarily want to attend or participate in, but I feel that I need to support the people who are organizing them (I'm such a people pleaser). Plus, it's good for me to get pushed out of my comfort zone every once in a while.

Alright, I know I promised to elaborate on some tools I am using that help me succeed in accomplishing these goals. First and foremost is my bestie, Brooke. We keep in pretty much constant contact, despite the hundreds of miles between us. Even though we have very different goals for simplicity, I think we have been a good support to each other and provided motivation when needed. Also, our blog has helped tons! Even though I don't post every day, or even every other day, I know that I have committed to updating my progress regularly and that plays in my mind constantly. I also get these little reminders from an app called Lift (available in the app store), which allows users to set goals (either personal goals the user creates or form goals that multiple users are working on) and then sends reminders to follow up on those goals. You can set the notifications to come whenever you want and the frequency of the goal. For example, I want to unclutter four days per week. Lift tracks when I've marked that goal as "completed" for the day and then sends me notifications as I prefer. It also tracks your frequency and when you've hit milestones, such as ten times in a row. You even get to "high five" the phone sometimes! And, of course, I use my personal planner to remind myself of certain things too...like creating a post for the blog. I just love my pen and paper too much! Really, any reminder system will do!

Long story short, I'm getting there. Part of my hope for this simplicity focus was to get down to the nitty gritty and really figure out what matters to me. I feel like I am getting there. While meditation isn't as important as I thought it would be, staying on top of my commitments is and I've created  "to do" lists and planner systems to help me achieve that objective. For the rest of August, I'd like to really focus in on my organization and simplifying my thought processes. In September, I'd like to hit decluttering and simplifying my physical spaces big time. Any words of advice you have are welcome! And feel free to join us on our journey of Blossoming Intentionally!

Read More

work space: simplified!!

Simplifying my living space: Yup, I have yet to do any actual simplifying in my home. I feel like I am constantly chasing down clutter that just moves from place to place rather than getting rid of anything. Does anyone else ever feel that way? I guess I will have to be more intentional with my time; maybe leave some of the things that are out of their place alone to get down to the nitty gritty to finally trash some things? I dunno. I guess that's what I'll have to try next week.

Simplifying my work space: Holy cow, my room is coming together! It's not quite there but I've made so much progress this week. When it's all together, I'll post some pictures that document the changes as well as how I've organized some of my therapy supplies to simplify the process of using them. My "to do" list continues to grow, but so does the number of things I'm crossing off. I continue to wait for a calendar to start marking all of my appointments, but for now Outlook will have to do. **Epiphany: Maybe I should get paid to simplify my living space. I'm convinced that some of my issue in not getting any simplifying done in my living space is due to the fact that it's unpaid.**

Simplifying my lifestyle: Man, oh, man is my life chaotic! Between the fact that I'm working the next three weekends in a row then transitioning to every other weekend and the realization that school starts full-time next week, my head is going to explode! The husband and I are trying to squeeze in a weekend at my family cabin, but we both have multiple items on our lists that aren't completed. Plus, I have a manicure set up tomorrow mid-day with my sister-in-law so that's cutting into our vacation time as well. Here is where I could use a boost to either cancel or reschedule the appointment, but I would feel terrible backing out this late in the game. I guess I will have to buck up next week and really think about where my priorities are (Note: Nails or husband? This time, nails won, unfortunately.)

Basically, I'm not feeling too great about my progress the last couple of days, but luckily I have another 6 weeks to tackle simplicity. I'm so grateful to know that although I'm not seeing the progress I would like, there is always room for improvement. Next time I'll let you in on some strategies I'm going to try in hopes that my efforts to simplify my living space and lifestyle are successful.

Signing off to spend some cuddle time with the husband!

Read More

simplicity isn't as simple as i thought

As stated in my last post (read it here), I suck at making things simple. It's like picking out clothes for Brooke--it takes far too long for me to figure out how to be simple. Isn't that a little counter-intuitive?

The past three days have been a whirlwind at work (the school job, not the hospital job). My cute little kiddos don't even come back until August 25(!!), but already I'm spending long days at school trying to put out fires before they've even begun. It has taken a serious toll on my decluttering, simplifying, and meditating efforts. I'm nearly 100% positive that I've spent only 15 minutes decluttering and absolutely 0 minutes meditating. I haven't acquired a planner for the new school year, but my to do list is coming along quite nicely *insert sarcasm--it's already 2 pages long*. I'm hoping to get some good decluttering and decorating done tomorrow in my speech office. Does decorating count as decluttering?

In regards to simplifying my lifestyle, I'm feeling pretty good. I've yet to take a few minutes to do the sitting-and-breathing kind of meditating, but I've gone running every day which is kind of like meditation right? I said 'no' to my mom when she asked me to cover her when watching my nieces because I already had dinner plans with a friend...and that took some serious guts! (Don't get me wrong, I love my nieces to pieces but I needed a break from responsibility for a night.) I'm quite attached to my planner and "to do" list system, largely because I love my Backstreet Boys notebook where I jot down all of my notes and lists. Once it runs out of blank pages, I'm sure I will easily find a way to incorporate my lists into my already very full and very organized yet simple planner. (And yes, I still use a paper planner. Too much satisfaction from crossing things off the pages!)

So long story short, I haven't made as much progress as I hoped but I've made some. I have to keep reminding myself of our mantra: that the tedium of blossoming is where the building of character happens. As long as I'm working towards a goal, I'm making progress and that is what this whole project is about. See you next time!!

Read More

Welcome!!

Hey there! Kat speaking, or writing, I guess. I would like to welcome you to Blossoming Intentionally. You can reference our About the Blog page if you'd like to know what our blog is about, or you can reference our About the Authors page if you'd like to get know Brooke and I better. Or you can contact us if you have any riveting questions. Feel free to join us on our journey of learning to live intentionally and blossoming along the way!

Tomorrow I start my intentional journey of living more simply. As a neat freak who needs to have everything in order to feel comfortable and secure, I find that I typically make things far more complicated than they need to be in the name of organization. Some people would admire my organizational skills and I've had several friends and acquaintances inquire regarding them, but really, it can wreak havoc on my mentality! *Insert comment about my 3 planners, 4 "to do" lists, and color coding my food* I am so excited to learn about living more simply. I am hoping that I can create a lifestyle that aligns with my goals to slow down, enjoy the moment, and not get caught up in the chaos of life. If you'd like to peruse my simplicity goals, check them out here. Look back later this week for an update on my progress!

Read More